CRAZY LOVIN' (by Veronika Belianina)
INT. WARD. SULLEN MAN IS SITTING ON THE FLOOR IN THE CORNER
IN A STRAIGHT JACKET. HIS HEAD IS DROPPED DOWN.
He is unhappy to be here. The room is empty to our eyes, but
not to the man's. He is alone, until... Suddenly something
tries to get out of his head. (LIGHTING CHANGES) MAN holds
his head, trying not to let that happen. Finally, a JOKER
appears topsy-turvy/haywire out of there. He seems to exhibit
maniac-depressive psychosis. Few balloons always surround
him.
JOKER (LOOKING AROUND)
Ha! This one is even worse then the
previous ones! This time there's no
TV!
MAN
Could you be quiet for just a
minute?
In the foreground we notice a sitting KID (10 y.o.) with an
old soft toy. He tries to chop off the toys extremities.
Speaks of himself in plural. The third personality appears.
It's an EMPEROR in roman outfit and a little Roman column,
which is always with him. He exhibits the singes of
megalomania.
MAN
Oh, great! Now I'm stuck with all
of you.
EMPEROR
I've been in such places enough!
How dare they treat me like this?
Don't they know who I am? They
should've instantly upgrade me! I
can't stay in such conditions!
Look!
Rubs dust off of his column with angry defiance.
JOKER
We all know it's HER fault! SHE put
us here again!
KID
She always takes our toys from
us... We don't like the medicine
she gives us! We can't play after
this medicine. We don't like her!
Kid finally chops off a part of the toy, blood splashes out
of it.
MAN
No wonder! That's because she loves
me! ME! Not you! Not any of you!
She takes care of ME.
EMPEROR
How dare you?! It's us, who
protects you! Protects you from
working, from responsibilities,
from everything! And all we ask in
return is for you to pay attention
to us!
KID
And not let HER take away our toys.
Because we really like our toys!
Smashes a toy into the wall, trying to destroy it with
excitement.
KID
It's our precious treasure. They
never hurt us! People hurt us. And
laugh at us. Toys don't laugh at
us!
JOKER
Ha! Let them laugh! I'll show them
how to laugh!
MAN
Nobody laughs at your jokes but
you, idiot!
JOKER
Oops! I think I hear somebody
coming. Let the show begin!!!
All the personalities jump into MAN's head back again with
the help of light transformation. 2 ORDERLIES cut the
fabrics, which represent a wall with a knife, get in. Man
raises his head to look at them.
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY
Orderlies drag MAN through the hallway into experiment room,
which becomes before our eyes, a
INT. THEATRICAL STAGE
(THIS STAGE IS IN A SMALL THEATER). The stage is bare except
a dentist chair, hanging from nowhere window, some weird
instruments and an oddly placed door (upstage right).
Attendants place a MAN onto the chair. Doctor approaches him
in white gloves and clothes with an eye-doctor light on the
head. He has British manners.
DOCTOR
How do you feel today, Mister? Do
you know why you are here?
MAN
My wife sent me here.
DOCTOR
Why so negative? She takes such a
good care of you! She wishes you
only to be happy!
Joker sits with the other personalities far back in the empty
hall. The three observe from the cheap seats.
JOKER
Ha-ha-ha! Happy!
DOCTOR
Because you are not well again. But
don't worry, we'll fix you. Today
(looks at orderlies) lets try
something new.
MAN
Shut up!
DOCTOR
Why so rude, Mister?
MAN
That was not for you, doctor.
Orderlies look at the seats and see nothing there.
DOCTOR
I understand. Well, you can say bye-
bye to them now!
All three of personalities stand up to bow. Joker - on an old-
fashioned way. Doctor injects something into MAN's body.
Lighting changes. (Funny) music starts.
Orderlies notice personalities and start to run towards them,
all three run in different directions.
Orderlies catch the KID, throw his half-broken toy away, (he
cries) clean his face, comb (fast) his hair, while all of
them appear by that lone closed door with the sign TIME OUT
ROOM. Hospital attendants push the KID into the room and lock
it. We see the door shaking as if KID tries to open it, but
unsuccessful.
Orderlies turn to JOKER now. Joker notices them and runs out
of stage. They follow him. Meanwhile our MAN is shaking on
the chair with an indifferent face. Doctor comes to the
window to take a look. He sees...
EXT. DAYTIME - IN THE PARK
Joker runs away from the Orderlies, laughs and jumps, as if
of ticklish. They finally catch him and tickle till he
disappears in laugh. (Blinking figure montage)
INT. HOSPITAL/THEATRICAL STAGE
And now - the Emperor. He looks at all what happened.
Orderlies come back and approach to him. He doesn't try to
run, doesn't lose his dignity.
ORDERLIES
Welcome to the Anarchy, daddy!
EMPEROR
Please, don't touch me. I can do it
myself.
With haughtiness and with disgust he pulls out a little
vessel with poison and drinks it. Looks at the orderlies for
the last time and falls dead. (Lighting changes - Mood shift)
The Doctor is alone now with MAN, who just stopped shivering.
He looks with his light into MAN's eyes happy and satisfied.
DOCTOR
That wasn't too bad, wasn't it? I
think my work is done, my good Man.
EXT/INT. DAYTIME HOUSE - BY THE DOOR, DAY.
MAN rings the bell. Door opens and we see HER, his wife.
About the same age. Happily surprised to see him. They hug
each other.
MAN
They were talking bad about you!
They wanted to harm you. Please
forgive me! Please...
He cries. She hugs him.
FADE TO:
INT. HOUSE, DINING/KITCHEN ROOM, DAY
Man looks at the picture on the wall. Woman is in the
kitchen.
WOMAN
Can you help me set the table?
Man slowly goes to the kitchen. His movements are weak and
insecure.
WOMAN
Can you grab forks?
MAN looks confused. He's not sure where to look for them. He
notices a dirty fork, grabs it. Woman comes, takes the fork
away, leads him to the table. He obediently sits.
MAN
I am so absent-minded... I'm sorry.
He seats at the table still. She runs around, setting it with
the dinner (fast motion). He notices her beauty, smiles, but
doesn't catch her words.
MAN
You are so beautiful! How can I
possibly survive without you?
WOMAN (SMILES)
If the woman is in love, she'll
take care of her man, no matter
what it takes her. And I love you.
Eat your food. Or you forgot how to
hold a fork too? (she smiles)
INT. BEDROOM, NIGHT
Man lays with the Woman in bed, sleeping. There are family
pictures around. We hear approaching voices.
JOKER (V.O.)
Aww... Isn't that cute! She thinks
she got him back!
EMPEROR (V.O.)
He didn't send me an invitation to
the dinner. Can you imagine that?
JOKER (V.O.)
Not good, not good.
MAN wakes up in horror, wakes WOMAN up as well.
MAN
Quick, bring my pills!
Woman gets up and leaves the room. Man notices pictures of
the personalities among family pictures. The action from the
photos becomes alive and is shot at Passe Muraille's main
stage (plates). We cut between THEATRICAL STAGE and the
BEDROOM.
1st picture - THE KID sits in the corner and hammers the toy
to the floor. Hammer echoes.
Man notices a picture, tries to cover it, so the Woman won't
hear it, jumps and locks the door. Suddenly he hears JOKER,
who's on the other frame - plate 2.
JOKER
Pills! Ha-ha-ha! Didn't you get it?
We're tied in!
MAN notices a picture of an EMPEROR (plate 3).
MAN
But.. I remember you...
EMPEROR (V.O.)
We have our own pills! Those fools
thought I'd kill myself! Ha! My
life is too precious for that!
INT. LIVING ROOM, NIGHT
Woman stands behind the door.
WOMAN
Honey! Open the door!
Suddenly Joker is in the same outfit as MAN's wife.
JOKER
Honey! Open the door!
INT. BEDROOM
Now the room is messy. Toys and balloons are everywhere. Man
tries to clean it up. Falls on broken toys.
EMPEROR
Why should I? I don't need her. Do
you?
JOKER
No.
INT. DINING ROOM DOOR
WOMAN
What's going on, honey?
INT. BEDROOM
Man sees the lock on a door going crazy. The sound of hammer
echoes.
KID
We don't need her. We don't like
her.
EMPEROR
See! Why should we?
WOMAN'S VOICE
Are you alright there, honey? Why
did you lock the door?
MAN
She's my wife! I love her!
KID
Don't you love US?
EMPEROR
Think about it! She doesn't like
us, we don't like her.
Did she ever care about us? Look at
this poor kid! Did he ever get the
proper mothers love?
The room is even more filled with toys and balloons.
MAN
I get my portion of love. She gives
it to me! Now get lost!
KID
She always lies to us. She says
we're sick. But we never feel sick!
JOKER
Maybe we should play with her? How
about "a mouse in a trap"?
Kid stops hammering for a second. He just dug out a toy's
eye.
KID
We like this game.
JOKER
Okay! I'll set the trap!
EMPEROR
I give the orders here! I say - no
games! Let's get straight to the
point - execute!
MAN
No! I won't do that! Go away! I
hate you!
INT. THEATRE STAGE
Man isn't sure anymore who's - his wife or the voices. In
fact, it's the same DOOR where the Kid was sent. He runs out
of it. Hammer suddenly appears in his hand. Then disappears.
It's a mess. He reaches for his wife, but it's a Joker.
Personalities surround him, laugh at him. He notices a scary
picture, but..
INT. HOUSE, DINING ROOM.
It's actually a peaceful picture on the wall. He quivers. He
falls. Voices surround him, we hear a woman's scream. Man,
totally insane by now, runs away, outside, voices follow him.
EXT. MURAL (EARLY MORNING HOUR)
MAN runs down the alley with the black and white mural,
trying to run away from his voices. Holds his head in
despair. Finally voices seem to fade.
FADE TO BLACK.
INT. WARD.
In the room from scene 1, camera slowly moves from left to
right, passing a man, sitting alone with his head down.
SLAM-CUT TO:
EXT. DAY, THE CEMETERY
A fresh grave and people mourning. Among fresh flowers we see
Emperor's column, a broken toy and a balloon.
MOURNING PEOPLE
Oh, poor she! She had to suffer so
much from him. She was always
beside him, no matter what. -
What's going to happen to him now? -
She wasn't that old! I heard her
heart couldn't stand it anymore.
Suddenly balloon pops.
INT. WARD HOSPITAL ROOM.
Man sits in the same position as we left him. It's very
quiet. He raises his head and looks around.
MAN
Hello?... Anybody here?.... Still
hiding, huh?...
Nothing. After a while Doctor comes in and leaves the door
open.
DOCTOR
You can go now. And... It wasn't
your fault.
He watches as the Man weakly exits the room.
INT. HOUSE, DAY
MAN comes back home. It's empty. He doesn't know what to do.
Suddenly
WOMAN'S VOICE
Want some tea? Brewing is on the
upper shelf.
He goes there and finds it.
MAN
Thanks.
WOMAN'S VOICE
Every Tuesday there's fresh meat at
Edna's. Just say who you are and
she'll give you a good deal. That
would be tomorrow.
MAN
Where are you?
WOMAN'S VOICE
Here
He jumps and searches every room. Nobody's home.
MAN
Where?
WOMAN'S VOICE
Here!
Man grabs his head in desperation, but then smiles.
Fade to black
The end
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